Check out the video above with a clip of Ronde Barber's debut on OSN as well as the article below, courtesy of The Tampa Tribune.
Bucs' Barber is guest analyst on sports spoof show
The Tampa Tribune
By: Walt Belcher
TAMPA - When Comedy Central's new faux sports show, "Onion SportsDome," debuts on Tuesday night, Tampa Bay Buccaneer Ronde Barber will appear as a guest analyst.
This weekly spoof of ESPN's "SportsCenter" is produced by the satirical minds at The Onion, which has been making fun of the media for a couple of decades.
Barber plays straight man to "SportsDome" anchor Mark Shepard (played by an unnamed actor) in a funny report about how retired New England Patriots safety Rodney Harrison never knew he was a football player.
Shepard's gag report has Harrison writing a biography "For the Love of Crushing" in which the 15-year-veteran confesses that he "never had any idea" that he "was part of some complicated game." He just enjoyed chasing people and hitting them, especially in the head.
Barber adds that Patriots Coach Bill Belichick kept Harrison fooled by replacing all of Rodney's clothes with football uniforms and every Sunday his teammates would get him to the appropriate field where he could run around and crush people.
Shepard says that when Harrison found out, he went on a rampage.
"He broke three people's collarbones and ripped an old man's arm out of its socket," Barber says.
Shepard fawns over Barber noting that "if there was a Hall of Fame for handsomeness" Ronde would be the first inductee. "A lot people say your best quality is your smile, I'm going to go with 'eyes'," says Shepard.
A video of this faux report is online at www.onionsportsnetwork.com
The satirical sports show is set to debut on Comedy Central on at 10:30 p.m. Tuesday.
The folks at The Onion boast that "SportsDome" will "render all 25 ESPN channels irrelevant in the space of just 30 minutes."
Shepard's co-anchor is Alex Reiser (another unnamed actor). They engage in cheer, meaningless banter while getting excited over the over-hyped fake stories that parody what's really happening in sports.
Stories on the first "SportsDome" edition also include news that Miami Heat superstars Dwayne Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh are demanding some 27 new NBA rules intended to make the game "a million times funner and cooler."
Among the reforms they've imposed: the fourth quarter would be played with flashing lights and hip-hop music, with a zip line installed from the rafters directly to the basket rim. For this threesome's convenience, games would only be played in Miami.